God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
