I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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