Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
This is classic penis vs brain.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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