I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
the night ended with taco bell and tears
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
