I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I deserve this hangover.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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