The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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