I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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