He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
