cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize