the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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