What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
