He asked to "fluff my boner.."
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
