i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i think my mom watched the whole time
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
