i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
