Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Even my vagina gasped.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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