No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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