last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
whose ass print is on the piano?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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