Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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