If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
