The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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