if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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