come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
