I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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