you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And then he peed in my hair
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
