a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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