are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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