Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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