oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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