Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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