I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
