Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
