i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
