At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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