called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
