the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
