stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
