That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
bring money and cleavage
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
