Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
