omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
