Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
