So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
