Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
