can u get pink eye on your cock?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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