So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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