pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
