Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
