Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
