Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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