What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
