ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
