I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
