My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
