I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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