She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
